A Cordova View on Why Familia Matters

I’m going to be honest. I have fears for raising my future children because I don’t have confidence that I will be able to help them learn responsibility without interfering in their lives as much when they are teenagers. I have fears because even though I learned a lot from my parents, and I respect them and honor them for everything they have done for me and taught me. There are different approaches that weren’t handled well in my family, so I hope not to follow bad techniques on parenting unconsciously. I see myself acting in an authoritarian way with my siblings, and I do not want to practice this kind of parenting with my own children. I know that the best kind of parenting does not involve coerciveness, but it involves smart techniques that teach children responsibility without force. The most successful kind of parenting is called authoritative parenting. Research has supported authoritative techniques as ideal in supporting a positive child and adolescent outcomes. I like...

I have seen society have many opinions on the matter if mothers would be providers of the family along with the father. There are different opinions because we have people who strongly believe the mother should stay in the home caring for the family, not because she shouldn’t work in a financially paying job, but because she should work with the family in the home while one parent is away from the family for a certain number of hours in the day. On the other hand, we have people who believe that the women should not be obligated to stay in the home and she should provide financially for the family as well. And I am not suggesting that either opinion is correct, but I would like to share some information that has helped me see that it does make a significant difference in the home if you choose to go either way. I am not suggesting either that these are the only two opinions that are possible to have, but these are the two opinions we discussed in class so I will only ...

This week we only had one class because of Thanksgiving break but I really enjoyed what we learned in that one class period. We talked about the importance that communication has in a relationship, but it is also important to know HOW to communicate effectively in any relationship. Roughly, about 85% of the time, in therapy, when couples are asked what is their main problem within their marriage, they say it is Communication. And usually when there are disagreements, if it is not approached well, then both spouses get defensive and try to defend what is right to each one of them, instead of trying to fix the problem as a whole. In class our professor gave us the “5 secrets of effective communication” that are found in the book Feeling Good Together , by David Burns M.D. And these 5 secrets are the 5 things that most people don’t do and if we learn these steps, we have to be willing to practice these skills and seek understanding in every situation. Here are the 5 secrets ...

This week in class we discussed about Family Crisis. And event and/or events that can come unexpectedly to overwhelm the family. Some common stressors events can include a death in the family, serious illness, accidents, loss of work, moving to a new place, alcohol abuse infidelity, unwanted pregnancy, etc. People react to crisis in different ways. We cannot control the events that occur in our lives, but we can control the way we respond to them. Another thing to have in mind when going through a crisis or stressor event is that coping isn’t just getting by, it’s much more than that. The decisions you make during the stressor can make up all the difference. Just recently, I have had a couple of stressors where my older sister who lives in another country, had her third beautiful child and everything was going great until the baby got the cold that was going around the home. For new born babies, it is dangerous for them to get a cold because they still have much control o...

There is a quote that I have come to love. It was shared by the President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. It really gives me clarity on what I should expect marriage is going to be like. It is going to take effort and practice, in order to adjust to my spouse and establish a marital system that works best for our family. But in the end, the hard work will be all worth it. It is a team effort to establish something strong and powerful. “Meanwhile, mortal misunderstandings can make mischief in a marriage. In fact, each marriage starts with two built-in handicaps. It involves two imperfect people. Happiness can come to them only through their earnest effort. Just as harmony comes from an orchestra only when its members make a concerted effort, so harmony in marriage also requires a concerted effort. That effort will succeed if each partner will minimize personal demands and maximize actions of loving selflessness.” Russell M. Nelson, “Celestial Marriage,” Lia...

This week we talked about the importance of intimacy in the marriage and teaching intimacy to our children. Media has portrayed intimacy as something women and men have the same sexual desire. Which is not entirely true. Women and Men have different experiences when it comes to sexual intimacy and when these differences are not understood, there can be misunderstandings within the marriage. It can cause men to think that their wife doesn’t desire them and women may think that something is wrong with them because they don’t desire their husbands as much. So, it is said to be men are like microwaves and women are like crockpots. It takes a while for women to have a response to sex. In the book “And they were not ashamed: Strengthening Marriage through sexual fulfillment and knowing her Intimately. 12 Keys for creating a sextroardinary marriage” By Laura Brotherson. Brotherson states that women are 4 steps away from sexual desire compared to men. For women there is a proce...

If you thought that marriage was going to be a fairytale from the start, you were wrong. I’m not saying that marriage will never be able to attain a happy state, but in order to achieve happiness you have to go through some changes and transitions to marriage. These transitions include the wedding, initial marriage, introduction of children, and inclusion of additional children. Regarding engagement, it is accustomed for people to make their engagement into a social media event, and when they do this, they disregard the beauty of the event. And I’m not saying that the engagements shouldn’t be broadcasted, it should be celebrated with joy, but when you do it for “likes” on a post, you are focusing on the wrong thing. Engagement shows more of a commitment and a level of preparation for more adjustments to come during wedding preparations and the actual marriage.   Regarding, wedding planning, in America, the average wedding cost around $26,000. People are focusing to much o...