Intimacy

This week we talked about the importance of intimacy in the marriage and teaching intimacy to our children.

Media has portrayed intimacy as something women and men have the same sexual desire. Which is not entirely true.

Women and Men have different experiences when it comes to sexual intimacy and when these differences are not understood, there can be misunderstandings within the marriage. It can cause men to think that their wife doesn’t desire them and women may think that something is wrong with them because they don’t desire their husbands as much.

So, it is said to be men are like microwaves and women are like crockpots. It takes a while for women to have a response to sex.

In the book “And they were not ashamed: Strengthening Marriage through sexual fulfillment and knowing her Intimately. 12 Keys for creating a sextroardinary marriage” By Laura Brotherson. Brotherson states that women are 4 steps away from sexual desire compared to men. For women there is a process that needs to happen in the brain. The brain is the most important organ when it comes to sex. For the women sex is a decision, women need to get emotionally connected to their partner, they need to feel important, they need to be touched into it to get aroused and they need some feelings of desire in hand.

Its all about emotional connection!!! There needs to be a knowing of each other outside of the bedroom in order for it to be a healthy sexual relationship.

So it does matter to women to be emotionally connected to their spouse, in order to feel like they will be valued during their intimacy. Men also need sex to feel emotionally connected to their spouse. Its flipped

Women need to first feel emotionally connected by feeling safe, warm and close so sex can be desirable. And men need sex in order to feel safe, warm, and close. If we understand this, we are more susceptible to understand one another. We wont just see our husbands as sexually addicted, and we won’t see women as uninterested. That is why sexual intimacy is a big part of marriage because that is where you learn how to be unselfish, understanding, how to have a bonding attachment and real intimacy.

That is why we need to keep sexual relations within the bonds of marriage because its purpose is to bring both partners closer together and learn how to connect. It isn’t something that should be an individual and selfish desire for personal pleasure, but sex serves a purpose to bring spouses closer together.

However, we have something so sacred be taught by the media or school educations programs to teach our children. And we shouldn’t just rely on those things to teach them the “right ways” of sexual education. Our kids should want to come to us (the parents) to talk to us and be open to asking us questions about sexuality. Kids usually learn these subjects in school, so kids might not want to talk about that topic at home with parents because it isn’t seen as a home topic anymore.

What a child learns first becomes a foundation for them so we want them to have a clear understanding of what is truth and what is falsely taught. It should be taught as something sacred and important that can be fully enjoyed when practiced in bonds of matrimony. There is also ways to teach it in a safe way. We do not want our kids thinking that if they do fall, that they are broken and undesirable. That is not the case. We make mistakes once in a while, no one is perfect, but we all have the opportunity to learn from experiences and move forward.We all have the opportunity to change for the better.